The 3-J Model
Why Every Leader Needs Jonathan, Jethro, and Jesus
Purpose:
To help leaders understand the three relational dynamics that sustain long-term leadership health and multiplication.
Core Idea:
Great leaders do not grow in isolation.
They grow through three intentional leadership relationships.
Opening
Leadership can be lonely.
The higher you go, the fewer people tell you the truth, challenge your thinking, or walk beside you.
Many leaders eventually stall not because they lack calling, gifting, or opportunity.
They stall because they lack the right relationships.
Throughout Scripture, we see a pattern.
Healthy leaders have these three relationships:
· Jonathan
· Jethro
· Jesus
We call this the 3-J Model.
If these three relationships are missing, leadership eventually becomes isolated, unhealthy, or ineffective.
If these three relationships are present, leaders tend to grow, endure, and multiply.
The Big Principle
Leadership development happens in three directions.
Direction Relationship Role
Friend Jonathan Peer encouragement
Leader Jethro Wise Insight
Priority Jesus Commune with God
A healthy leader is always:
· Walking with someone
· Learning from someone
· Investing in a relationship with Jesus
Most leadership problems are simply a breakdown in one of those three relationships.
J1 – Jonathan (Friend)
Who Was Jonathan?
· Jonathan was David’s closest friend.
· Scripture says
· “The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David.”
1 Samuel 18:1
· Jonathan strengthened David’s hand in God.
· That is what friends do.
· They strengthen each other’s courage.
What a Jonathan Relationship Looks Like
A Jonathan is:
· Someone who can identify with you
· Someone who tells you the truth
· Someone who celebrates your wins
· Someone who helps carry the weight
They are not impressed by you, nor intimidated by you.
They simply walk beside you
Why Leaders Need Jonathans
Leadership has pressures that most people do not understand.
A Jonathan:
· Keeps you grounded
· Reminds you who you are
· Encourages you when the fight gets hard
Without friends, leaders drift into isolation or ego.
Coaching Application
Ask yourself:
· Do I challenge their thinking?
· Do I know their real struggles?
· Do I strengthen their faith?
If you cannot answer that clearly, you probably lack a Jonathan.
J2 – Jethro (Wise Insight)
Jethro
· Jethro was Moses’ father-in-law.
· When Moses was overwhelmed leading Israel, Jethro stepped in with wisdom.
Exodus 18:17
“What you are doing is not good.”
· This is real Coaching.
· Not flattery.
· Clarity.
What a Jethro Relationship Looks Like
A Jethro is someone:
· Ahead of the client in experience
· Able to see what the client cannot
· Willing to correct the client’s thinking
Able to bring perspective
Jethro gave Moses a leadership structure that saved his life and preserved the nation.
Sometimes, one session with the right coach changes the trajectory of leadership.
Why Leaders Need Jethro’s
Without Insight leaders:
· repeat mistakes
· burnout
· plateau early
Wisdom shortens the learning curve.
They give you decades of experience in a conversation.
Coaching Application
Ask:
· Am I speaking into their leadership?
· Do I have permission to challenge them?
· Am I seeing and pointing out blind spots?
J3 – Jesus (Intentional Multiplication)
Jesus spent most of His time developing twelve men.
He did not simply lead crowds.
He built leaders.
What Jesus D
Jesus:
· walked with them
· challenged them
· corrected them
· sent them out
He invested intentionally.
By the end of His ministry, those twelve men changed the world.
What a Jesus Relationship Looks Like
Time spent with God, for the sole purpose of spiritual intimacy, growth, and maturity.
Closing Challenge
Ask yourself three questions:
Am I being a Jonathan?
Someone who walks beside them.
Am I being Jethro?
Someone who speaks wisdom into them.
Am I pointing them to Jesus?